how are you doin?

there was a man with one leg, sitting in a wheelchair sitting outside, kitty-corner (that must be a midwesterner's word...) from the national city bank branch downtown. mind you, it's not quite 20 degrees outside, and who knows what the windchill is - i am shivering in my hoodie, northface fleece and gloves. i can hear the individual coins rattling in the cup he's shaking. i notice he's lifting himself up several steps to get into a food/marketplace area that is warm. then he looks at me.

all i can muster up is, "how are you doin?"

he sighs. "oh, hanging in there. that's all you can do."

i give my straight face and nod, then cross the street.

never saw him again. probably won't ever see him again.

seriously? "how are you doin?" is that it? is that all i can do? is that all i really did?

elitist

“I think Penn is much, much safer than other public schools and I don't know where you would find a school where you didn't find drugs...Actually, we probably have a different type drugs here because we have rich kids. We don't have crack, that's a poor-kid drug. And prescription pills are rich white-kid drugs.” -T. Carroll, spokesperson for Penn HS. full article here.

right, because that makes it all better.

you know you're in Indiana when...

...you are driving down the main highway from South Bend to Indianapolis (US 31) and you encounter more horse-and-buggies crossing the road (4) than police cars patrolling the highway (0).
______________________________________________________________

and on a completely different note - favorite players from conference championship weekend: Johnny Flynn and Toney Douglas.

an observation, a hypothesis, and a tribute

observation: orange juice left at the bottom of a mug for a week doesn't stay very orange...especially with a spoon used to eat yogurt in there, too...

hypothesis: ramen noodles (the spicy, Udon noodle kind) must be addictive - there's no other explanation for why it can be so cheap, and still profitable, and why i crave it all the time...it's seriously a detriment to my health.

tribute: in honor of the NBA Dunk Contest from last week - because dunk contests always cause me to youtube old videos of dunks - my 3 favorite dunks (not just from Dunk Contests) in no particular order:

Jason Richardson, 2003 Dunk Contest

Vince Carter, 200 Sydney Olympics

Air Up There 720 Dunk, And1

Signing Day

"...the last great Hawaiian player at Notre Dame was a walk-on: kicker Reggie Ho ... who today is a surgeon." -John Walters, NBC Sports Blogs

for some reason, that just doesn't surprise me...

Acquisition...

...complete.

Tiger Mentality

Jason Sobel: "There are some people who would argue that you risked too much that week [2008 US Open at Torrey Pines]..."

Tiger Woods: "This is true. Mmhm."

Sobel: "What do you say to them?"

Tiger, straight-faced, without even cracking a smile: "I won."

-ESPN Interview with Tiger Woods

that's right.

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=caple/080919/venues/11-100

18. Notre Dame Stadium
Location: South Bend, Ind. Opened: 1930. Capacity: 80,795.

Because no matter a school's tradition, history, legacy, fight song or cheerleaders, none can match the mystique of Notre Dame.

________________________________________

that's right. Go ND.

first week

first week of medical school is almost through. my thoughts and impressions:

-medical school is already extremely humbling. the Dean shared people's personal statements at the white coat ceremony. there was a guy who was a medic in Iraq on 3 occasions, an NCAA record holder, a start from last year's Butler Bulldog basketball team, and many others. I feel remarkably...normal - and that's ok.

-2 days into anatomy and i already feel behind. lectures go so fast, the professor just seems to whip through different parts (we're studying the superficial and deep back muscles right now) without even thinking, having memorized human anatomy it seems. again very humbling. and the other classes (cell/molecular bio, biochem, immunology...) haven't even started yet. head is already spinning...

-food, no matter how bad it looks or might be, tastes better when you cook it yourself. though i am extremely slow. i called my mom while cooking b/c i was worried about some smoke/steam coming from the pot - fail.

-one week in and most people seem to be nice, relaxed, and caring. are we all being genuine to each other? we'll find out soon enough once the stress and group work begins.

-it's hard fight the urge to write about med school in the language of medicine. but i must, lest i forget how to communicate with the rest of the world.

-first day of anatomy, we dissected cadavers, looking for the muscles of the back. i can't say i was affected by it, but i can't say it didn't affect me either. it's just weird to think about what we're doing, basically digging into what was once a living, loving, loved, human being who was willing to (knowingly) donate their body expressly for our education. i'll admit, it is a little eerie when i step back during lab and watch my lab group (and others) hammering and chiseling away at the vertebral column so we can dissect the spine. and it's weird seeing people use a turkey baster (no joke!) to drain fluid from the table...more on anatomy in the future.

-finally, where is God? i need/want to find a church, a community, brothers and sisters who share my faith. i find myself hiding it, not mentioning it too much. today, in a session on professionalism, the speaker (an M.D. or Ph.D or some other highly educated IUSM faculty) asked us to share in pairs about our values, and i found myself having a hard time sharing about what i value most, what i wanted to get out of being a doctor, and what i wanted from my life. is God that far away...rephrase: am I that far away from God? (read Chambers for Aug. 13.)

...and classes haven't even started in full yet...oh boy.

"Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
and grace my fears relieved.
How precious did that grace appear
the hour i first believed.

Through many dangers, toils, and snares
I have already come.
Tis grace that brought us safe thus far,
and grace will lead us home.

The Lord has promised good to me.
His word my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be
as long as life endures."

-Amazing Grace (stanzas 2-4) by John Newton (1725-1807)

attached

i looked in my wallet today and discovered my washu id still occupies one of the four credit card slots in my wallet...

when i went to open a new bank account, i needed two forms of identification. almost instinctively, i pulled out my driver's license and washu id - the lady opening my account asked me about school, and it felt weird to say that i was actually going to be a student at indiana university in the fall...

i'm still attached (i sometimes think that i'm still going back to saint louis in august...) but glad to be moving on.

but i don't plan on taking that out of there for another few months...

slightly anxious

all this apartment searching in indianapolis has gotten me slightly anxious about medical school and the rigors of first year...

role reversal

so my mother is in chicago until wednesday. I dropped her off at the airport here in SB Friday afternoon, and she said to me, "Take care of the family while I'm gone."

by take care, she means cook and clean (except my dad beat me to the dishes yesterday...).

i'm cooking dinner today (some steak, hope nobody dies) when my sister gets home, refuses to help me cook the rice because Dad wants her to go outside and help him wash and wax the mazda...

then it dawned on me. why is my sister outside washing cars while i am inside cooking dinner?

faith and sports

I was watching ESPN First Take today. There was an interview with Josh Hamilton of the Texas Rangers, the 1999 No. 1 overall draft pick, the current RBI leader, the fastest person to 50 RBI in a season in MLB history, and also coming off a 3-year hiatus from baseball to overcome crack-cocaine and alcohol addictions.

He mentioned God a few times, and that piqued my attention. But then, when asked by the interviewer what his life was like now, post-addiction, he said, "...my wife told me, you're going to get back but it's not going to be about baseball. It's going to be about sharing what God's done in your life." When asked what he knew about himself now that he didn't when he went through his struggles, he said, "I can't do anything without Him, that's how I live my life today - Jesus first, family second, baseball third." Then he was asked what it would be like to be voted into this year's All-Star Game. He replied, "I had a dream I was at a Home Run Derby, and they had an interview after you come out from taking your swings...I got to share with a whole stadium full of people about Christ right there. That's a good combination right there, so I will hopefully get to do that sometime this year..."

I know there are Christian professional athletes. I know that every other athlete out there "thanks God" first for everything when they succeed. But he went beyond just thanking God for his success. He knows it's all about God. How many people would say that, on national television, in a live interview, and sound perfectly genuine, full of conviction. I can barely do that with people I know that aren't Christians - let alone on national television.

male pms

does it exist...?

feelings of incompetence

you're back...go away.

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong." -2 Corinthians 12:9-10

words

"A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver." -Proverbs 25:11

"The words of a whisperer [NIV - "gossip"] are like delicious morsels; they go down into the inner parts of the body." -Proverbs 26:22

i think...

words mean more to me than anything else...

words are powerful..."And God said, 'Let there be light,' and there was light." -Genesis 1:3

they cut through me like a sword, pierce the deepest parts of me that other things cannot.

words spoken - coupled with facial expression, words in a letter or e-mail, they mean the most because they touch at the center of how i give and receive...

...i think...

"...out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks." -Matthew 12:34

christmas traditions...?

so i just realized our family does not do much together for christmas. we have no real traditions. my aunt Judy is the only person who gets our family presents. there was no big christmas dinner (though we did have shark fin soup...yummm...) we did not have a group of international exchange students from IUSB or ND like usual. we did not even eat dinner together as family. instead, i read, relaxed, and watched NBA games. (reading really does go a lot slower in front of the television...) that seems to be a recurring theme every time i come home for break: my bro, sis, and i are home, we're together as a family, but we are all doing separate things, in separate places. are we all that independent, or is our family not as cohesive as i thought we were.

but we did go to church today because it was my parents' turn to clean and tidy up the church, so that was our family outing...

one book down, six to go...